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Tuesday, 24 June 2008

The racoon and I ??

I hate doing a post without a picture ... or several pictures in fact ... I believe in that old saying ' a picture is worth a thousand words ?" .. hope that is what I meant to quote .. hope it didn't get it twisted ?
Because this morning I became TWISTED Menopausal CRAZY Madwoman and yes .. gardener falls in there some where ..
Our neighbors, bless their souls for being good people .. told us they saw a raccoon get on our roof and flip part of the siding/fascia ? what ever that term is, and flipping the bird at the neighbors at the same time ... the damn thing got into our attic ...
When hubby told me what they told him I just about dropped on the spot ... I'm sure the neighborhood heard me SCREAMING .. all those movies like the "Money Pit" and for some reason National Lampoons Christmas" when buddy is stuck in the attic and his feet go through the ceiling ... well they all came rushing in with one HUGE raccoon attached, rubbing his paws with glee and terrorizing the crackers out of me.

After hubby through a glass of water in my face and I stopped running in circles yipping .. he got on the phone and started calling all the animal control companies possible. THANKFULLY he found one that sounded like his head was screwed on correctly .. went through all of the steps he would go through .. and YES .. LIVE trapping with NO shotguns of hunting parties included that would rampage through my home.
This "saint" who will hopefully follow through and show up tomorrow is on my "nice' list, if he really does what he says he will do ... something familar about that phrase and I can't think what .. wait ... I know ... promises politicians make ... my god ... I hope he is better than THAT ??

So ... I am totally preoccupied with this event going the distance, and we will be raccoon free soon ? ... and I can stop watching the ceiling where ever I go in the house .. especially the bathroom .. why I think this guy can come through the bathroom fan is beyond reason .. it just keeps playing through my mind that while sitting some where, minding my own business, this HUGE furry creature will end up in my lap some how ?? ... talk about nightmare situations ... let alone trying to sleep wondering if he is picking his way through the ceiling to PEEP at me and LAUGH his bandit black eyes (aka A**) off at me .. well ... the list goes on and on and on ... my nerves are raw .. it might be time to get that ice wine brandy out again ... until this event is fully wrapped up ?
I'll let you all know how the house guest is moved to an outdoor motel some where else outside of Kingston .. where he/she can enjoy his/her own outdoor plumbing while reading the newspaper or a garden magazine ?
I swear I hear this tinkling of laughter all the time ... and eyes ... eyes watching me even as I type this .... UGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next installment when this adventure is DONE and I come home from the place that has the nice, straight, white jackets ............................. and no raccoons ever visit me ?

PS ... Sophie knew all along something was going on .. she was "stress" eating .. and all this time I thought it was because Emma was driving her mad ... BIG sigh ....

18 comments:

Brenda Kula said...

Menopause is the s***s, isn't it? I always tended to lean more toward the "dramatic" side, but now I'm so much worse. My moods swing like the monkeys in the trees. And the money pit situation, if you read about us having to have our house jackhammered; then the next week water leaking through the wall from yet another separate problem...I was a basket case. I still have concrete in three rooms of this damned house. Don't even know where to start! Not to mention the crazed drug addicts I've hired without knowing to fix things! That's why I still have concrete floors!
Brenda

Nancy J. Bond said...

Oh my, not a funny situation, but when you mentioned NL's Xmas Vacation (my only MUST SEE Christmas movie) I could see Clark sitting there with that stupid hat on. :-) Maybe the raccoon will leave the same way he came in? Is that even possible? Until then, I'm with you -- board up the bathroom fan! :-)

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

I am laughing so hard I can't breath. Maybe you should hang out a the motel tonight till the critter is gone.

Anonymous said...

OMG Joy! It seems that last summer I kept you up to date with the goings-on here with raccoons and I promise ... we did NOT take them to Kingston. I think our entire neighbourhood is raccoon alley, add a skunk or two to that and we have quite a mixture. Just hope they all stay on the ground. Honestly, I feel for you.
Rose

Amanda said...

Yuk. We had black squirrels in our attic last year and starlings this year (and they were bad enough), but a racoon is so much bigger! We still have bats between the siding and our bedroom wall - they wake us up when they come back from hunting in the early hours and we can hear then fluttering their wings at times. I've kind of got used to them, but come the fall we'll be sealing up the gaps and hopefully will be free of them next year. Good luck with your pest man and I hope you don't have any dropping racoons (or racoon droppings!) to deal with before he sorts it out.

Crafty Gardener said...

OHG - OMG - OMG - I sure hope that critter gets caught. Maybe you will be brave enough to take a photo of it in the cage.

Gail said...

So sorry! Really, when creatures get close they aren't so cute! Except kitties.

GardenJoy4Me said...

Hi Gail .. I hope not to get close to this guy at all .. I just picture it having to be taken down from the attic by way of our bedroom hallway .. ugh !!!

Crafty I thought of that too .. once it is out of the house .. if I can collect my brain cells long enough without running around in circles screaming ? LOL

Amanda .. that is the scary thing .. droppings .. I know they can be quite toxic .. this guy is supposed to do a clean up job .. and hopefully through all of his years of experience he KNOWS exactly what to do. Wow .. you have had a LOT of wildlife in your home !

Rose .. I would have dropped an e-mail to you telling you about this .. but I was so crazy yesterday .. I worked too hard in the garden again just so I didn't have to think about it .. I kept waking up listening to noises .. I got up at 5:50 this morning ..we don't have a set time that this guy is coming so I have to be prepared ..

Debbie ... if this guy didn't cost so much I would consider that .. this is driving me further up CRAZY ST. than ever before ????

Nancy ... I swear I felt those beady little eyes on me in the bathroom last night ... goosepimples all over !

Brenda ... my god ! what a nightmare you have had to deal with .. this menopause thing is HORRIBLE .. I keep wondering if I will ever be half way normal again ? jeez !

garden girl said...

I hope the trapper gets the varmint out of the attic immediately.

I'm scared of raccoons.

Menopause is the pits. It's pms on steroids.

ourfriendben said...

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Raccoon in attic!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!! Geez, we sure hope it's gone by now.

Viooltje said...

We had a pine marten visit our garden and house last summer; I first spotted a strange creature on the huge pear tree, 'pickin' pears and doing the Tarzan moves, jumpin' from and on to trees. Just when we thought it was gone, it found it's way to our roof, and I was just dyeing my sister's hair and a little cheeky face popped up through her roof window! We were scared it might attack or hurt Kristy or Krusty as they are only medium sized cats, but it was gone the next day and we've never heard of it or saw it again. Hope you find a nice motel for your guest! Take care,
Violet

GardenJoy4Me said...

Violet .. that would be tense with the safety of Kristy and Krusty .. you just can't tell what a wild animal will do. I'm glad the "pear pickin' Tarzan" moved on to another jungle ? LOL

'ben' this guy hasn't shown up yet .. just noon time here now as I write .. hubby and I were working full tilt in the garden and shed so we are both sunburnt and sweaty and TIRED .. and still no relief from the guest ?

garden girl .. you made me laugh so much I just about .. well, you know what happens with menopause .. I am going to use that description , thank you very much !!!

ourfriendben said...

Just noticed all the great new Emma and Sophie photos you put up, Joy! Love the "Emma look"!

cindee said...

Yikes a critter in your attic. That is frightful. I hope they can catch him and move him somewhere far away. just not here. We have those little brats here at times too. They terrorize all the animals and eat whatever they can. Last night when I took the dogs for a walk I saw a Pepe' Le Pew!! Jack was running ahead of us and I yelled to him to come back. Lucky thing he didn't see Pepe' or he would not have come back until he smelled like you know what!!!!! I didn't feel like giving him a bath at 9pm last night. (-: Good luck with the raccoon!!!

easygardener said...

It's like your brain gets some crazy idea and just runs with it - then gradually builds on it - till finally there is some full blown ridiculous scenario cascading through your brain - and though you know it's madness - you just can't stop yourself.
Even worse when you're trying to go to sleep. Will it never end :-)

GardenJoy4Me said...

EG ... that is exactly what has happened to my brain .. it keeps going over the most ridiculous scenarios possible .. especially the one of me on the loo with the raccoon falling through the bathroom fan landing on my lap ! JEEZ !

Cindee .. is it true you have to give a stinky dog a bath in tomato juice when a skunk sprays it ? I always wondered about that .. good thing you didn't have to do that at 9 PM girl ! LOL

Hey 'ben" yup .. Emma has a "look" for sure .. and Sophie has discovered a way to get back at her from all the annoying things Emma does .. she waits till Emma is under my quilt then she POUNCES on her like a game show nut .. go figure ? LOL

Cat said...

"terrorizing the crackers out of me."

I'll be using that one!

GardenJoy4Me said...

Cat ... honest to god ... it really feels that way girl ! LOL